[Breaking news update, published at 5:02 a.m. ET]
Idalia has strengthened into a Category 1 hurricane with winds of 75 mph and is expected to further intensify into a dangerous Category 3 storm before making landfall on Florida’s Gulf Coast on Wednesday, according to the National Hurricane Center.
Florida is awful and I’m a moron for coming to this idiotic hell hole.
Now there’s a postcard.