I want to be respectful but if they say they don’t care what pronouns I use for them, that feels like it puts the decision on me to choose what to call them and I guess I would probably default to “they” because choosing a gender for them feels weird… am I wrong?
I've never understood the fuss over pronouns, because if I'm talking to you I'll refer to you by your name. And if I'm referring to you in a conversation with someone else, I'll refer to you by your name, but if I used any pronouns you wouldn't hear it anyway. 🤷
Right. Speaking about people in the third person is rude
Exactly. I was taught as a kid that saying he/him or she/her while the person is in the room with you is rude. That's why I use their name and find all this fuss bizarre.
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Signaling. From a respect perspective I just call people what they want to be called, but I will rarely apologize for misgendering someone accidentally.