Sounds like this brand name needs a new start.

A NEW START… Hmm…

I got it!

ANUSTART!

Any minute now…

Yeah. “They shouldn’t be above the law.” works better.

Me at the grocery store yesterday: “These cookies look delicious! And they’re 90% off!”

Wife: “Those are lactation cookies…”

Me: “I didn’t know that was a thing… They still look good though…”

That, or you’d get crushed alive since the car wasn’t designed to actually protect you…

https://youtu.be/C_r5UJrxcck

People like this drive me crazy.

Years ago, a family member (who was on my mobile phone family account) was getting charged monthly for some mobile game. I would point it out every month, and they were like “Yeah…I need to cancel that…”

It took over a year for them to get around to canceling it.

LaRosa’s Pizza for me!

I was browsing news headlines. Me: “Why is Johnny Gaudreau trending…”

Reading out loud to my wife, I first read it as “Johnny Gaudreau’s brother died”. Reading it a second time, the utter dread sunk in.

What a way to find out.

Finding out that it was the day before their sister’s wedding…a tremendous tragedy.

He’ll be missed.

We have a 2012 Ford Fiesta that we call “Siesta”. That car sucks a good amount. Been meaning to get rid of it for years now.

One star off because the doctor is the one who hit them with a Mercedes

I have a neighbor directly behind me that has been doing the upside down flag thing for a while now. I think they started doing it after January 6.

These same neighbors also fly a don’t tread flag.

I’m glad I haven’t needed to interact with these dunces.

I eat a spoonful of peanut butter on a daily basis. It’s the best.

Indefinite crying for me!

That scene in Ghost messed me up.

*Rot in prison

This was my first thought lol

When I was a small child, I put a piece of Cheerios cereal in each nostril, to “see if I could breath through the tiny holes”. They got stuck, I panicked, then fell asleep. When I woke up, they were gone. I always assumed they dissolved.