I’m experiencing so many conflicting emotions right now. Horrified, amused, enthusiastic, resigned…

There’s smoke coming out of my ears, and I smell a burning clutch from constantly shifting gears.

No, but it didn’t matter anyway. That area wasn’t known for earthquakes. By the time my brain got out of “WTF?” mode, it was over.

The worst was also the funniest. An earthquake hit while I was on the toilet.

Everybody wins

In my case, a sack of White Castles.

Almost. Substitute dictatorial control for independence, and you’ve got it!

I had to keep reminding myself that it’s August, not April 1st. This is asinine.