And we’ve been trolling cons for like a full day with this. I did this to my trump loving aunt on her Facebook. She got super mad and deleted me off Facebook. She was the last holdout that refused to unfriend me no matter what I commented on her brain dead posts.

It’s been over a decade since I answered a call from a number that wasn’t programmed into my phone. I won’t return the call unless a voicemail is left.

Some gouda puns here.

I was gonna make one to troll them, but you can’t make an account without linking a phone number, and I actually use my Google voice account.

Mama needs to go to fat camp and shed a few pounds.

First off, it’s Dr. I didn’t get a doctorate in art studies to be called Mr.

Second off, do you hug your food before you eat it?

Why is it dripping down your leg? Are you hugging your garbage when you take it out?

I fucking hate this state. I’ve been here for 9 months, and hate every part of it. The water is fucking disgusting, the heat is absurd, the traffic is ridiculous, the roads are shit, the beaches are shit, the people are… mentally handicapped is the nicest way to put it, the food is meh at best unless you want Cuban or something fried. There are absolutely no cultural things, like museums or anything that’s not hick crap. Went to a ship museum in Tampa with my kids, and it was a rusted out hulk of a boat.

Enjoy the cultural overload of the excess of museums, including the Nimitz, the amazing and huge variety of food, the cooler weather, really good pizza, and amazing pizza if you get closer to NYC, water that doesn’t smell like sewage until it’s ran for a minute or 2, water that doesn’t destroy your pots pans, and basically rust everything, you lucky bastard.

Oh yeah, and go fruit picking other than oranges, because you can just hit up dozens and dozens of orchards for all kinds of fruit picking, without sweating your balls off, pretty much any time of year.

Also, it’s called pork roll. Anyone that tells you it’s Taylor Ham is a monster, because Taylor Ham is the company that makes pork roll. Pork Roll with egg and cheese is a cure-all. Hangover, depression, snacky, quick breakfast, hungry, and dying? Yeah pork roll with egg and cheese on a roll will solve all your problems. If you have extra problems, add bacon and double meat. Pork roll with bacon, egg, and cheese on a hard roll will cure all your problems.

Having lived in NJ most of my life, and recently driving almost cross country to FL, the only benefits of living in FL is that there are like never any lines waiting for gas, and I don’t have to wait for a guy to come out. I just pull up, fill up, and GTFO.