TheMongoose

Andrew Fucking Wakefield can never suffer enough for everything he’s responsible for

More likely the D&D/fantasy version. Harry Potter called them “horcruxes”. Keep your soul in a box and whatever happens to your body, you can’t truly die.

But I didn’t know they were based on Jewish mythology, so thanks for that TIL!

I’d assume they were still called “Woody” and “Buzz”…

Nah, cows can’t move that fast.

They can’t fly either…

Ahahahahahaaha. Hahaha. Haha. Ah.

Glorious.

If your state doesn’t have concealed or open carry laws, you can still ‘bear arms’ by having them at home and transporting them in proper cases, correct? So this isn’t paywalling the right to own guns, just the right to take them around with you like a murdery little comfort blanket.

Yes. The answer to this isn’t to restrict what the NSA can do, the answer is to stop people’s privacy being a legally tradable commodity.

I mean, anyone that agrees with statements like “poisoning the blood” will assume every brown person is an illegal immigrant (with very very few exceptions who will be described as ‘one of the good ones’).

Because they’re a racist shithead.

How can anyone put their name to that and still look themselves in the mirror in the morning? Jesus christ, that’s ghoulish.

But don’t forget, the people saying those things didn’t have access to semi-automatic or fully automatic weapons, or anything much fancier than a musket. You can’t blindly apply laws written that long ago to the modern day because it’s something that those mythical founders just couldn’t even imagine.

If you’re racist and you know it, clap your hands!

Almost immediately, Twitter users began to call for me to be charged with perjury. With liberal usage of the N-word and homophobic slurs, they also said that I, along with my family, should be hanged for treason.

I got up from the bench and briskly finished my walk home. After I locked the door, I went and checked the go-bag that I had kept packed for exactly a moment like that. And then I followed the plan I had in place to leave my home.

Jesus Christ, what is wrong with these fucking cultists?

Got echos of that old Northern Ireland ‘joke’ where the gunman asks “yes, but are you a protestant atheist or a catholic atheist”.

Chilling.

I suppose there’s no consequences to these asshats not doing the actual job the People are paying them to do and instead trying to do what history will probably look back on as “a bit of light treason”…

… they’re the same picture

What a terrible day to have eyes.

Taking bribes in stolen, easily-traceable gold? I’m almost surprised they didn’t come from a Swiss vault and had swastikas stamped on them…

Isn’t that because at the root of greed is the inability to be satisfied? Why don’t billionaires, when they have literally money beyond avarice, more than they could possibly spend in a thousand lifetimes, just say “nope, I don’t need any more, everything else I earn can go to charity”?

But they don’t. They get richer. And despite the public image of them, they’ll still try and screw the regular workers out of as many toilet breaks as they can get away with in order to maximise how much they earn.

It’s almost beyond evil.

I believe the officer in charge of the firing squad has a pistol that they'll use to finish you off, but that's still not my definition of quick or painless.

For the record, I'm like 99% against the death penalty (I could be convinced if the crime was bad enough, the perpetrator was completely unrepentant and there was absolutely zero doubt of guilt, but that last one is a very high bar to clear), but can someone explain why instead of nitrogen, they don't use carbon dioxide? Doesn't that have a very similar "you fall asleep and never wake up" effect?

Alternatively

"Oh, are you reading?"

… No, I've got headphones on and am staring at this Kindle because I want to have a conversation. Dick.