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Joined 11 months ago
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Cake day: August 9th, 2023

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  • That’s just wishful thinking that doesn’t address the problem at all. Even though you might want the 90-9-1 ratio to change, it isn’t. It’s an established pattern for a reason. Even if the person you responded to was gonna post a lot, they might get a few upvotes, maybe a comment or two on their posts. Simply because there aren’t enough people here to engage with niche topics. And then it feels like your effort is futile (which honestly it is if your goal is an active community), they get discouraged and stop posting and we’re back to square one with no meaningful changes. Sometimes it is about numbers and this is one such case.




  • The problem with eating meat is not the eating meat. I don't give a fuck if someone eats meat from an animal that hasn't suffered, that was free and in its natural habitat. I don't know if I would myself because after 15 years of not eating meat I don't think I'd still like it, but it's not unethical. The problem is the untold amount of widespread suffering and cruelty of beings with emotions and sentience and attachments and capacity for both physical and emotional pain that is industrial livestock farming.



  • I don't want to assume, but it seems to me that you haven't really changed your relationship to food on an emotional level. I lost a lot of weight and don't feel like you at all, because I changed my relationship to food to one of fuel instead of comfort or fun. It's not easy, but it's important. And it's not like I hate food or anything, I still like food obviously, but when I'm filling up my plate for dinner I put enough on it to feed my actual physical hunger, not some emotional hunger for dopamine. The fact that it's delicious is an added bonus, not the main event.


  • Same. Being undiagnosed autistic is horrifying in high school. I was chronically depressed and suicidal and everyone avoided me like the plague because I was weird as fuck and had no social skills. I did drop out at 17, then delivered mail for a few years, then after I got diagnosed and put on proper meds went and got my diploma in adult education at 24, which was super chill. Ironically I decided to become a teacher, in part because I want to contribute to making school a little less horrifying to kids like I was. And the 7 years of delay ended up being a huge benefit, because I can stand in front 25 13 year-olds confidently at 28, but I could never have done that at 21.





  • I'm sorry but you're being a child. 'Well, if everyone apparently hates hearing me talk so much, I'll just say nothing at all, just to please everyone even if it kills me inside!' My guy. If multiple people at different points in your life with different relationships all say the same thing to you, it's probably true. I know it's hard to accept but you're not accurately seeing what is happening in these social situations because you have a certain view of yourself and how you behave doesn't match with that so you ignore it.

    I speak from experience. I'm autistic, it took a long time for me to learn to communicate properly. I had to be told by multiple people who were close to me at mutlple parts of my life that I was selfish in conversation and only talked about myself. At first I was very offended and indignant and denied it. Those people stopped being friends with me, but years later I realized they were right. Still, when I'm not trying I slip into just talking about myself. It took my brother and his wife saying it to me again 2 years ago. I apologized to them and have started paying attention more, and it makes a world of difference.

    Let other people talk, ask them questions, no matter how brilliant or interesting you think you are. You, in your childish indignation, think that being more empathetic in conversation will have a negative impact on you, but the people around you will like you way more and be more willing to talk with you, which actually has a positive impact on you. You know, I have students who are also super offended every time you discipline them because it's sooo unfair and they didn't do anything wrong, but it happens with every single teacher. It's not them, it's you. Try to be open to the fact that sometimes, other people have a more accurate view of your behavior. If they all say the same thing, listen.


  • That never happens to me because I'm too autistic to be aware of my own facial expressions. I didn't even realize until a friend I made at 20 or 21 told me I could go into theater because I was so expressive with my face. That gave me a bit of a mini existential crisis. My face has been loudly communicating things to everyone all this time without my knowledge or consent? Wtf