I to this day still have to Google tons of stuff, even very simple things; sometimes it’s just hard to remember that function’s name or whatever, it’s no big deal.
Programming didn’t click for me until I actually built something. Just a little command line game. Eventually after a certain point I realized: oh my god I can do anything! (with enough time)
You’ll get there, but try working on something bigger with zero stakes where you can feel out how code you write in one place ripples out to other places.
Hey high five, also a local newspaper guy! I bumbled into it maybe 7 years ago. It doesn't pay well (it's pretty rural) but it totally aligns with my principles. It's rough in the newspaper industry these days but it's also an interesting challenge. Your competition is basically Facebook and Google.
I totally agree though. Certain small businesses are happy to have a skilled programmer. My boss gives me a lot of leeway to follow my principals when it comes to user privacy and stuff.