Rose Thorne

I’m trying to get my own hands on it, but all of her cookbooks are in boxes that currently reside with my grandfather’s new wife, who has made it her mission to piss on everything of his old life, even his family.

Funnily enough, the men in my family are the cooks, normally!

My step-grandmother, though… She knew how to bake. It didn’t matter what she decided to make, it would turn out delicious. She refined a Black Forest cake recipe from scratch, I’ve never had another one like it. The moistness of the cake, icing just rich enough to make a statement, cherries that were the perfect ripeness.

She ruined that cake for me. I know a part of it is the memories, all the time wrapped around when she would bake that, but if I had one wish, it would be to have one more slice.

I wish I did! There’s a photo album, somewhere, that has some pictures from back then, but I have no clue which relative most likely has those.

Not really “rare”, outside of it’s niche, but definitely unusual!

I owned a 1969 Volkswagen Beetle, with an electromagnetic clutch. Instead of a clutch pedal, you pressed down on the stick and shifted it up/down, releasing once in position.

Not many vehicles used that particular style of clutch, and that was one of the last years VW built a model with one, as far as I’m aware. Miss that little car.

They might not be the fastest or prettiest, but old Volkswagens were reliable and stupid simple. Still hope to one day get my hands on an old Microbus and a Karmann Ghia.

If you’re exploring the green tea world, I highly recommend mint green tea. Exactly what it sounds like. I find it quite refreshing, especially after a hot day. The mint adds a nice coolness.

As someone who’s been in a position like your friend, you did more than you realize. Sometimes we need someone to help us open that door, and help push us through.

It’s hard to tell yourself you’re okay, that you can make it through, because you’re dealing with those feelings directly, all of their intensity, it can feel like a constant battle with yourself. When there’s someone else, though, someone who sees all this and still makes you feel normal, it gives you ground.

A small moment of making someone feel genuinely valued, be it as a friend, a partner, or just another valid existence in this world, can be a bigger help than some people know.

I’m not surprised that worked, bacon and sweets work rather well together. Chocolate-dipped bacon is actually quite nice!

Another fun one is cook up some bacon, mix it in with some pancake batter. Bacon-mixed pancakes with some butter and warm maple syrup? Amazing.

I was there for my grandmother’s last breath. It kinda fucked me up at the funeral, the stark contrast between the last moment and then.

Just a generally overwhelming day. Got slammed at the end of my shift, had to work over handling customers on top of the absolute mess my coworkers had left me, traffic was an absolute hellhole turning a 15-minute commute into 45, and when I got in, the air conditioner, at some point, had a malfunction so on a nearly 90 degree fahrenheit day, my house was almost boiling on the inside.

Was kinda the last straw, and I was rushing to get my pills.

Yeah, but it took me years to realize it. I used to be a part of a FFXIV LGBT+ focused Facebook group, and there was one woman there who was the start of breaking down some brick walls in myself. Just listening to her talk about her journey through transitioning opened my eyes to some negative feelings I was carrying, and later on in my life, where those feelings really stemmed from.

I wish I had said “no” when she asked me if I was so sure about myself. I feel like I missed a wide open door I should’ve jumped through, instead of stumbling through it already half-broken 10 years down the line.

This is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever written, it’s an impossibly small chance, but if you’re out there, I miss the fuck outta you, you pole-smoking thundercunt. I wish I realized what a friend I had before I chose to walk away.

A general lack of control, but mainly manifested in not being able to stop doing something. Mainly walking, it’s like things can be peaceful, but the moment I try to stop, take a look at something, there’s an overwhelming feeling of I can’t, I’m not allowed to, I’m moving for a reason and if I stop now, I’ll never start again, they(whatever it is) won’t let me.

Or sometimes it’s coming out of hiding. I’ve had a few where it’s like a horror movie, there’s party music somewhere above me, but I’m hiding in something, and I know there’s something just wrong, but if I try to leave wherever I’m at, I can’t. Like my body in the dream locks up, refuses to let me step out and face it. It makes it feel so much worse, like I’m locked in by my own self.

It might sound odd, but genuinely, check if any local wildlife rehabs/centers need volunteers.

There’s constantly something that needs done, often in creative ways, especially when doing something like designing an enrichment area. It might just look like a bunch of random junk, but a lot of thought and effort goes into constructing something that actually mimics situations an animal might encounter in the wild.

Eh, it doesn’t sound destructive or interruptive to your day.

Manifesting isn’t just a new-age hippy thing. Ritual can put your brain in a certain space, and that can be a massive motivator for someone. Picking your socks to fit the theme isn’t all that different than telling yourself affirmations in the mirror.

It’s kinda like the “lucky shirt” concept. Sure, the shirt doesn’t really have some metaphysical power, but you’re putting yourself in the mindset of “Good things happen when I wear this”, and when you’re already in that frame of mind, the good things stand out even more.

I actually finally got around to playing it for myself fairly recently! I was actually surprised at just how well they got the discomfort across, it took some genuine talent to bring those scenes to life.

“I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream”.

I realize most might just see it as unsettling, but I’ve known someone like AM. Obviously not a giant supercomputer, but with that much hate. With that much blind rage, that everyone around him must suffer for daring to exist. That would happily keep someone alive just to bring them more pain.

As much as I love that story, every time I read it leaves me a little more terrified, looking over my shoulder, waiting until I’m put in my cage because I dared break free, even almost 20 years later.

I will admit, I have a soft spot for Paper Boats, I think it’s a beautiful track, but you are absolutely right, and it’s sad they’re overlooked! The entire OST is a masterpiece, in my opinion.

Supergiant really knows how to make a good soundtrack. Even Bastion has some representation in my playlist. Cannot wait to hear what they have worked up for Hades 2!

The Spine from Transistor

This has been a recurring one, but it’s slowly changed as time has passed.

I’m on an endless stretch of road, sometimes walking, sometimes driving. On either side is just an endless ocean of grass. Sometimes I can catch sight of what looks like an old campfire out of the corner of my eye, but I can never look back far enough to really see.

For a long time, it was always this drive to keep moving. Never stop. Something is behind me, and I need distance. Nothing else matters. I couldn’t even look back if I tried.

Over the last year, that feeling of being chased has went away. I don’t wake up panicking. Now, there’s a feeling of destination, and that I’m getting… Somewhere. I genuinely don’t know. But it feels closer. And now, when I try, I can look behind myself somewhat. Not fully, but enough to see that there’s at least more road immediately behind me.

It’s become kinda hopeful. Not trying to read any grand importance into it, don’t think it’s prophetic, but it started to shift as I started taking better care of myself. Makes me kinda wonder if it isn’t some fucked up part of my brain going “Hey, we’re getting better”.

Might not be up your alley, but there’s a dude called “Just Background Noise” who does various Morrowind challenge runs. It’s neat stuff, but his name is quite accurate. Makes for some great background listening.

Repo: The Genetic Opera.

It’s definitely not for everyone, but it hits all the right buttons in my moody theatre kid heart, and “I Didn’t Know I’d Love You So Much” will always get the tears going for me.

And even if someone bounces off it, I’ve gotten a terrifying number of them hooked on Zydrate Anatomy. Might be the only song they remember from the whole thing, but it stays stuck.