Maybe he DID defeat a pride of lions but he accidentally posted the wrong photo.

Dangit

a true measure of one’s strength is how elderly one can become. outlive all your enemies! outlive all your friends!

I like the way we don’t have to wear petticoats under our dresses anymore.

It’s ridiculous that governments are still confused & trying to figure out all this no-brainer shit

chemical storage closet at work…A hydrogen chloride container leaked out onto some iodine containers.

Yep, sounds like a typical day on a typical family farm

I’m scrolling down so far into the comments hoping someone will explain the benefit of sleeping on wet leaves

If you don’t feel like you fit into any of those four above categories, you’re gonna have to take your own picture of the aimless mayhem you’ve made of your life you described up there and make a fifth category.

All I want is everything in the $4 row. I don’t want anything else. can I still participate?

I’m sure the builders were paid extremely well for their troubles, so they can afford the cost of living and they can all buy their own houses.

haha jk I know that’s not how the real world works. The people who work the hardest get paid the least and they can barely survive.

wet-ass witches

I’m upvoting because he hyphenated wet-ass

I choose millionaire.

Dangit now I’m craving spaghetti.

This reminds me of a Hank Green YouTube short: “Do dogs understand the concept of elevators?” The greentext up there was from the perspective of your dog, except he believes & trusts everything without too much analyzing, because he loves you.

Ooh that’s my kink. May I have a moment in your padded office too?

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Well yeah but then it’s back to the addictive aspect. That’s like telling a heroin addict to carry around all the supplies for heroin in his pocket but just don’t do heroin. People trying to recover from heroin probably shouldn’t keep heroin in their pockets.

I don’t believe you, because you can only get murdered once, and after that you wouldn’t be able to post comments on the internet.

Termites are very precise. Eat all the wood until the wood is gone and don’t eat anything else.