I can’t even remember the last time I had cash in my wallet

I’d love a walkthrough on how to do that. To be honest, it’s been a while since I installed it and I’ve forgotten what I needed to do.

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I have reVanced but unfortunately I struggle with getting it to work consistently. Most commonly, the video will play for a minute or so and then buffer endlessly. My Internet research tells me the only way to fix it is to root my device, and I’m honestly not willing to go that far. Luckily I have adblock installed on my phone, so the official app is tolerable.

My house is going to be halfway burnt down by the time I finish chopping vegetables if I turn on the stove first.

Also the classic “my boyfriend said my boobs were too big.”

No he didn’t. Literally no one ever said that.