I've said this before, so check my post history for the full story, but I personally went from a guy who basically lived in a trashed apartment to someone put-together enough to attract the girl who eventually became my wife. All you need is the strength to say "fuck it" and try to better yourself in spite of your complete lack of faith that it will change anything. You've gotta get out of your swamp to find your Fiona. As for friends and a job, I've found that being more put-together helps with those endeavors as well.