IMO, it's often not even "war bad" but "fighting bad". Thus wanting the defender not to defend because that would be just as bad as attacking.
I consider myself a pacifist, so I prefer peaceful and diplomatic ways before going to war. But if you are attacked, you have the right, if not the duty, to defend yourself and your citizens.
Reading your edit not gave me the mental image of a country being attacked and their military just surrounds and protects one singular confused random citizen
In isolation, sure, but in context, 'war bad' types are generally not agitating for the invader to stop, but for the defender to stop.
IMO, it's often not even "war bad" but "fighting bad". Thus wanting the defender not to defend because that would be just as bad as attacking.
I consider myself a pacifist, so I prefer peaceful and diplomatic ways before going to war. But if you are attacked, you have the right, if not the duty, to defend yourself and your citizens.
Edit: changed citizen to cititens
Reading your edit not gave me the mental image of a country being attacked and their military just surrounds and protects one singular confused random citizen